genies: i wish i was cute so that i could take selfies and not want to kill myself
ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
tympanista: yo can i get a vodka and caprisun
rnedia: my phone changes “yo” to “to” and its jeopardizing my street cred
sherlockisthenight: apps that don’t turn sideways when you lay down
lameborghini: my spidey sense is tellin me that ur a little bitch
peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
Exclamation: Tumblr. + Yahoo! = !! →
yahoo: I’m delighted to announce that we’ve reached an agreement to acquire Tumblr! We promise not to screw it up. Tumblr is incredibly special and has a great thing going. We will operate Tumblr independently. David Karp will remain CEO. The product roadmap, their team, their wit and… You came to the wrong neighborhood motherfucker.
robertoluongo: in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
Person: Rape is just surprise sex.
Me: Killing you would just be giving you a surprise nap.
friendlycloud: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Relevant
smashedindigo: no one saw me wear it therefore it is not dirty
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It's TMI Tuesday. You could literally be asking me...